Peanut and Jelly Bean  – They are almost 3 1/2 years old. They had a fun Monsters, Inc. birthday back in February with family and have been getting big! Jelly Bean potty trained at the end of 2009 in a matter of weeks and has been doing great ever since. Peanut is another story – she just recently accepted the concept, but has setbacks from time to time. They are going to preschool a couple of mornings in the fall (Peanut is going as long as she can get the accidents under control). They are saying more and more hilarious things, are able to do more “big girl” activities, and make me shake my head in disbelief that my 4 pound preemies are growing up so quickly.

twindada – twindada has seen his fair share of challenges the past year and a half which have, of course, affected all of us. He was laid off from his previous job and was out of work for 8 months which was unbearable for the entire family. I feel horrible for anyone who is out of work – it is pretty rough. He finally took a contract position with a company last fall and it has a blessing with a good job, good boss, and lots of flexibility (he can work from home!).

We were finally thinking things were looking up when a doctor’s appointment gave us another sobering reminder that life is hard. Over the course of the 8 months twindada was laid off, he lost 30 pounds, was drinking a ton of water, hungry all the time, and looked really thin. We thought at first that he was losing weight since he wasn’t sitting behind a desk anymore. This made sense, but then he isn’t a heavy person, so he doesn’t have the weight to spare. He got so thin that I could see ribs and he was eating like crazy. Finally, he went to the doctor and after a series of bloodwork, it was confirmed that he has Type 1 Diabetes. He has to give himself insulin injections 4 times a day and has to be very careful what he eats. It’s a good thing that he is a good eater in general and he has done a great job of maintaining it all. (I wouldn’t do as well.)

In addition, last year he pondered a career change (one definitely looks at his or her career when they are out of work – especially since they have the time to do it!). He has been interested in a career in healthcare for awhile, but wasn’t sure he could handle the idea of needles. Well, once he became a diabetic, that fear flew out of the window. With his contract job coming up for review and unsure whether it was going to be renewed, we had a long conversation about making changes to better secure our family in the future. twindada’s focus turned toward nursing and his interest grew and grew the more he looked into it. Changing careers is really difficult especially when the careers are such polar opposites, but once he committed to it, the door flew wide open: He was accepted into a local college, his Bachelor’s degree fulfilled many pre-reqs with the exception of a handful, he applied & got a part time position at a hospital working as an Emergency Department Technician, started school, and his contract job was extended and he was able to scale back to part time to accommodate his new part time job and school. Whew! He is now working 2 part time jobs plus going to school part time right now. It is crazy busy, but the end result will be good.

me (twinmama) – Well, I am still a work-at-home mom. I take care of my beautiful 3 year old twin girls, keep up with the house (as much as possible), and started a new job last fall as a freelance writer and site editor for a parenting website. I love my job a lot – it is the perfect fit for me and it is flexible with kiddos at home. I struggle sometimes with my daily routine especially since the girls have given up naptime (may it rest in peace…) I am adapting to the recent change and am getting back into the swing of things.

So bear with this twinfamily. We have been on the roller coaster ride of life (as we all have, I’m sure!) I miss blogging so much and am going to try to keep up.  (Holding your breath is not necessary.)

Organic Baby rompers are marked down to $3.75!

Organic Baby slings are marked down to $7.95

Organic V Neck Tunics for women are marked down to $6.95

Men’s Organic Long Sleeve Button Down Shirts are marked down to $5.95!

In addition, for every $25 spent MAPI will make a donation of $25 in new clothing to Haiti.

One day, I was cleaning out the girls’ closet making room for winter clothes. I came across a Cincinnati Bengals cheerleading outfit that we had from last year. We never got to wear it, so I pulled it out and decided to see if it still fit. Peanut happened to be standing by watching me go through this chore, so I pulled the uniform over her head and realized that it was rather short. It didn’t look like a dress anymore, but a shirt.

Peanut was thrilled when she found the Bengal tiger sewn right on the front it. Immediately she squealed, “Tiger!” I made over how pretty she looked and she immediately wanted to go show Daddy so he could make over her, too. I took her upstairs to his office and she walked around saying, “Tiger shirt, Daddy, Tiger shirt!”

She was hooked.

She wore the Tiger shirt all day long, but fortunately she let me take the shirt off for bedtime. However, the next day first thing in the morning, she woke up saying, “Tiger shirt, Mommy, Tiger shirt?” I had to explain to her that she couldn’t wear the shirt today because it was dirty. She didn’t like that answer, but dropped it for a couple hours. Then, she brought up again. And again. And again. And again. And, well…you get the point.

Every single day she asked about the shirt. She always thought about it. I got tired of hearing about it, but I didn’t want to give it to her because I was hoping she would forget. After all, it was way too small on her and it wasn’t practical for her to wear it everyday. She isn’t the neatest eater after all.

Cincinnati Bengals first game came and they lost in the last moments of the game. People were fuming that they should have won the game, but they just couldn’t pull it off. Peanut saw the game on TV and noticed the Tiger on the field and asked to wear the shirt, but I wouldn’t give in. I still didn’t want to make a habit of it.

The following Sunday, however, Peanut broke Twindada and he found the shirt and she happily sported it for the day. I admit that I was really annoyed because she was starting to bring it up less and less and I was hoping that I could finally put it away in the outgrown clothes box. I obviously didn’t win this battle.

Peanut loved to see the “tigers” while watching the game and sporting the too short, tight fitting cheerleading smock. I must say her enthusiasm for something she knows nothing about is quite endearing. She recognizes a football. That is about it. However, the strangest thing (ha, ha) happened while she was wearing the Tiger Shirt.

They won.

Twindada and I laughed that the shirt must be lucky. Twindada declared that Peanut was to wear that shirt during every game day. Peanut was thrilled that every Sunday she was finally allowed to wear her shirt.

The following weekend came and the Peanut wore her precious shirt. Bengals won again.

The weekend after that, Peanut was napping, but she was wearing her shirt. The score was tied and they had to go into overtime with the Cleveland Browns. Peanut woke up during overtime and the Bengals pulled it off.

Every time Peanut has worn her shirt they have won with the exception of one game – game 6 with the Houston Texans, but there was a logical explanation. Peanut napped during the entire game. It has come to our attention that the lucky Tiger shirt only works when she is awake. Our friends and family have told us that Peanut has a nap reprieve every Sunday due to this technicality.

Peanut will continue this season to sport her lucky Tiger shirt. We hope that it continues to bring our team some luck as they are having a good season. It has been awhile since they have had one, so we are enjoying it. We have been so inspired by their winning attitudes this year, that Peanut & Jelly Bean went as Bengal cheerleaders (in 2 appropriately sized outfits).

So, now I will close this post with words from Peanut & Jelly Bean.

Peanut, “Goooooo Bengals!”

Jelly Bean, “Who Dey!”

For some, Black Friday is a sport. Do you think so? Others think these people are absolutely nuts! However for the bargain shopper this might as well be their Superbowl. They plan for this, create their checklist, have ads in hand and go for a purpose. Some will plan their route carefully so they don’t spend a lot of time backtracking. Starting with the store that opens the earliest, shoppers will hit the stores grabbing the early bird specials and get out. (If they are smart.)

Others will go to look for ideas. While there is nothing wrong with this practice, it is best to stay out of determined shoppers way. Determine shoppers get in and get out. No fiddle-farting around, please.

Often people go in groups. I am wondering if Black Friday shopping “parties” are popular. What about doing ONLINE Black Friday shopping parties? Have some friends over for coffee and breakfast, everyone bring their laptops and search for deals together. You could visit tons of stores in an hour and save on gas and dealing with disgruntled shoppers & employees! Plus, many stores offer free shipping and coupon codes for extra savings.

Looking for tips on preparing for Black Friday? Check this out!

How will you spend your Black Friday? Shopping at stores? Shopping online? Spending time with family? Sleeping off the turkey coma?

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Yet there is a nation of people who are known to infiltrate many households especially if there is a sippy cup present or Dora the Explorer is on the tube. They speak a little English and more of their own language, they are somewhat moody yet very cute and they are determined. Oh yeah, they are  determined. They know how to get whatever they want and they will. stop. at. nothing. to. get. it.

This collective body of people are known as toddlers. Yep, those cute, little, runny nosed, on-the-go short stacks are a whole other breed of human beings. They are opinionated, funny, mischievous and sweet. They truly are a paradox of personality. To some people, they are absolutely a frightening brood of individuals while others think they are highly entertaining despite the destruction of furniture and the disgusting habits they tend to have.

Peanut and Jelly Bean are citizens of Toddler Nation. They speak their own language with bits of English thrown in so that I can understand them. (Usually only when they are in need of something.) They talk back with shrieks of  “No!” when I request they pick up their toys or come over to me. I hear plenty of “I want to do it MYSELF!” and “No, mommy, I DO IT!” Yet, in a moment they are hanging on me and whimpering, “Mommy, help me…”

Often, they are scrambling around jibber-jabbering in some language that I do not completely understand. Like, what does “shanka, shanka, shanka sissy” mean? Did you know that a vacuum cleaner in toddler-speak is called a “Wampanger” around here? Or if a word contains more than 2 syllables, some toddlers are known to throw in an additional 2 or 3 syllables more?

There are also the stories that little ones will throw at you using the English words that they do know or the conversations between twins with their limited yet growing vocabulary. For instance, I knew that Jelly Bean was climbing out of her crib one afternoon because I could hear Peanut saying, “Sissy, no. Hurt you, sissy! You get big boo boos! Sissy!”  And Jelly Bean replied, “I no boo boos, sissy. I get band aid.” Or when they completely out the other one like when Jelly Bean ran up to me saying, “Sissy up high.” “Did sissy climb in her crib, Jelly Bean?” “No, sissy on toy box.” Yep, Peanut had climbed up on the toy box and was now stuck and unable to come down.

Toddlers are unionized. I firmly believe we could get a group of toddlers together and interrogate any criminal into hysterics. One toddler can prove to be quite a handful. More than one toddler becomes all out war between what is proper and clean and what is dirty, messy and oh so fun. Toddlers feed off of each other. One angelic little being can easily be transformed into a little hellion in a moment once they are introduced to a new concept by one of their toddling counterparts. Add twins to the equation and you have an evil force that will leave parents ready to bang their head against the wall in frustration while the little punks run off snickering. They are smart and they are fierce.

Now, before you think that Toddler Nation is not a place you want to visit anytime soon, hold up. There are more pluses than minuses despite the hard work that goes into integrating these little ones into our society. Like, toddlers love to learn new things because learning is really fun at this age. They are usually experiencing things for the first time, so as parents we get to realize the joy of going to a petting zoo or seeing a choo choo train. Todders are inventive…Peanut and Jelly Bean have made several toys into musical instruments. Like a plastic chalk board positioned just so can be “strummed” liked a guitar or a book slid in front of the face looks like a “harmonica”. And don’t forget those foam chairs – turn them on their side and they become the best drums when jamming to music.

So, we live amongst others that are quite different than us, but that is okay. They don’t know any better, but too soon enough they will. And even though this age is very challenging and I have often been told to enjoy it because once it ends, I will miss it. I know that is true because I have missed every stage so far.

I realized something recently that I am constantly learning what it means to be a mom. With every birthday the girls have, the word parent becomes redefined. I think that I will always be a new parent because I may be comfortable with taking care of a two year old at this point, but I have no idea how to raise a five year old or a ten year old yet.

But one day I will and to think about this, makes me realize oh how much I want to enjoy my little toddlers and the world they live in.

One way for the girls to be creative without having to worry about them re-decorating the house is to use a Magna Doodle Pad or as the girls refer to them, a “doodle pad”. They will sit for long periods of time drawing and erasing and drawing some more. I enjoy watching them create their artwork, but I think I enjoy them deciding what they are going to draw even more.

You have to think that a 2 1/2 year old is limited by his or her own experience and imagination. So, unless the child has learned about or been to the Eiffel Tower, they are not likely to draw it. Conversely though, we must think that as adults we become conditioned in thinking narrowly, so we are limited by logic. (Though many could argue some never did grow up and are more likely to succeed in their creative thinking, thus the challenge of the quote in the introductory.)

Peanut’s drawing of Mommy.

Twindada and I LOVE to be creative. We love art, music, literature and feel that we should nurture any enthusiasm our children display regarding these subjects. Math is important and so is history, there is no question. As much as I rebelled, I will admit I have used algebra after high school! However, nothing releases passion like creating something all your own. We all can solve the same equation and will come to the same answer. This is good so buildings will stand and airplanes will fly. However none of us will come to the same answer when given a piece of paper and a pencil and told to “Create.”

I think about our Creator. What a blank slate! He could do ANYTHING He wanted and this is what resulted. What was He thinking when He created the rocky, pointed mountains? Did He laugh when He sketched the anteater? Did He cry when He sculpted the first baby that was born on Earth?

Jelly Bean’s drawing of a cat.

To create is to live. As parents, we create life. As parents, we create opportunities. We must nurture these moments and hope that in this way, our children never grow up.

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I went away to college for the entire freshman year and had fun, shed tears and changed in some ways and possibly digressed in other ways. No one can prepare someone for the challenges of being a college student out on their own. One just has to experience it. I had to grab the bull by the horns and just do it. Some people thrive at it and find this is the way for them. I wanted to be one of these people. Desperately. However, what I didn’t expect was to deal with the crushing blow of grief that I had put off for the year and a half since my Dad had died. I squashed those feelings of hurt, loss and bewilderment that one of the people who created me was gone out of my life forever. I did this by being someone that I think both the Lord and me know was not who I should have been and not who I was created to be.

After one year, I retreated back home. I found comfort in being back home around family and old friends. I enjoyed the ability to have a decent job that I didn’t have to compete with hundreds of other students to get. Living at home afforded me the ability to have things that poor college students usually couldn’t have. I was home. This felt right. Though I was still trying to escape.

So, I partied. Yep, this twinmama enjoyed herself one too many times at the lounge…Okay, we didn’t call it the lounge, but you know what I mean. I am sure there were many people in my life that looked at ME in bewilderment thinking, “What are you doing??” I should have been one of them, but I was still numb.

At some point, I picked myself up and decided this wasn’t the life for me anymore. I thought returning to college was the best thing for me. This time I would really grab the bull by the horns and get everything out of the college experience. This time was for me! So, I returned to college the following year and spent another year and a half there feeling even more aimless. I had no purpose being there. I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I didn’t enjoy what I was learning. I had very few friends who all had their own lives going on. So, I worked. And worked. And worked. This did not fulfill me. It made me even more resentful.

Finally, I decided to leave, but in the midst of making this decision found myself in a relationship with someone from my past that I thought would make me happy. Sometimes we cannot be the person we used to be. I was at this point and realized that I had changed forever. This did not last.

So, I was back home and finished my degree at a local school. I worked while in college and that is where I met twindada. From the moment he asked me out, we have been inseparable ever since. This is hard to believe since we have been together for nine years and married for seven! Being with twindada was the first time that I felt home. I finally found what I was looking for in the midst of chaos and heartache. My world had spun out of control after my father died and for the first time, I found balance again.

At our wedding, we set out a bouquet of flowers for my Dad. I know he was there. Yet, I couldn’t find sadness that day. It wasn’t because I didn’t miss my Dad walking me down the aisle or a father/daughter dance. (I can’t stay in the room during this dance at anyone’s wedding, it crushes me. What am I going to do when Peanut & Jelly Bean dance with twindada one day??) It was because that day I created a family with twindada and I felt a sense of peace that I had been looking for for years.

It’s strange to think about my college years. Twindada and I went to the same college and even lived a street apart one year and yet we met 3 hours away at job. We could have passed each other on the street at any given moment. I could have brushed arms at a club with the father of my children.

Yet it took me going home to find him.

So, maybe that is the key. Home isn’t so bad. Home isn’t always a place. It is much more than that. I tried to escape my home yet I think that even though I have changed, I have found comfort in the familiarities of my upbringing. I have dear high school friends who I miss and some I am just reuniting with thanks to Facebook. I am not the same person. Never will be, but that is okay. I am a better version of myself because there is one other thing that I haven’t mentioned.

I came back to Christ.

When Dad died, I ran like lightning away from God. I still had a reasonable fear of Him, but I was sooo angry. I put up my fist and let Him know this girl was carving her own path. Bad idea. You can see where that got me.

Twindada and I had a spiritual journey (that we are still on!) that changed the course of our lives forever. I believe this is the sole reason I was meant to marry him. I could have made many other choices in my life, but none of those would have glorified God. Him and I were meant to see the love, mercy and grace that the Lord provides. We have seen it every year that we have been together and this year is not any different.

2009 has been one of the most challenging years of our lives together yet we both have felt grateful for the outcome. Neither of us wanted to see twindada lose his job or for us to make the decision to put our house on the market. Stressful things have been happening and it has taken a toll on us! However, every time something challenging happens, it has given us the opportunity to ask the question, “Lord, what do you want to teach us with this adversity in our lives?” God is looking to shape our hearts and I think we are being molded with every challenge.

As I mentioned, we put our house on the market. We JUST moved in a year ago. We are very sad because it is a great house with lots of potential, some we have already taken advantage of with its hardwood floors and beautiful sunroom. Love the sunroom…I digress…

We have made another decision and that is to move back to my hometown. I pray this is the right decision for our family. I am excited about doing this and think the girls will benefit greatly for being closer to my mom. They LOVE their grandma and ask to see her all the time. Being able to see her regularly would be a treat for them. Having my Mom nearby would be a helpful for me as she is my biggest support system besides my husband.

Twindada was able to find a job closer to my Mom’s home therefore this is a wise decision for everyone. I pray he is able to find peace in this decision since this is not where he is from. (We are currently living in his home town. It will be a switch for us.) I want everyone to be happy because my family is my first “home”. Going back to my “hometown” is a bonus.

I pray we are able to sell our house quickly and move on with our lives. I pray we can find something in my hometown that will be suitable for us while we look for our permanent home. I pray that as we find our next home, we can find comfort in God’s loving presence, our real home.

Sometimes writing it all out brings perspective. You know, maybe I will have come full circle in my journey to escape. That is okay. Is it that I am running back to my roots for comfort? Am I bailing on my hellbent attitude of going out on my own and never looking back? Maybe to some, but not to this twinmama. Check out my name. I am a twinmama now. It isn’t about me, it is about my family. And my family is my home….are you with me?